Player Profiles:

DJ:

Stop being a nancy boy and stop diving all over the place. you maybe our top scorer but your no ronaldo!

Kipper:

Can spot the pass well but the execution is not quite their. In order to improve your fitness i suggest to cut down on the smoking during games.

Ben:

You are quite frankly the best player on the team, last nights performance was the best of the season! Your on Par with the like of Carrick.

Roy:

Plus points: scores goals when required although some of these have been quite embarrising (i.e. barnies boys). your attendance is disgraceful