The precise date of the foundation of Watergate is unknown, but Gary Smith says it was sometime in the 1920's, and he was there. Several of the founder members still play in the Leisure League, subject to nurse agreeing they can leave the home and that it is not too cold or windy out. The County Offices cancelled several games over the winter for fear that a Watergate member would slip and break his already fragile hip.

The team is by far the most boring in the history of leisure leagues, regularly scoring less than four goals per season, and conceding roughly 10. Even with the injection of new blood this season in the sizeable shape of Mark "the boy" Evans they have not scored more than a handful of goals.

What they lack in attack they more than make up for in love dispensed to women and menkind, kindness and body hair. In A Gledhill they have a man who has been shot at by savages for being the famed manmokey, and in G Smith a man who for a while was regarded as an angel in parts of Brazil. N Mullineux pretends to be a guide dog instructor so that he can stroke ladies, and T Britlin pretends he is a lady so that he can stroke men. A Brennan is the hard man of the team, once even daring to tackle one of the opponents. S Coupe is well known in Cheshire for once being on the books of Oldham Athletic, but throwing his career away due to a pork addiction. M Evans is the latest member of the team. Recruited for his goal scoring flair, he has scored two goals in 22 games, thus becoming Watergate's highest scorer in their history.

There are fringe players. C Hutchison played a handful of games, but retired in disgrace after members of the team discovered that he had a life outside football which involved canapes and dignitaries. S Watling has a permanent injury to his groin caused by cage fighting, and S Britlin plays when there is a need to reduce the everage age of the team to below 40.