Los Magicos
Matt ‘The Cat’ Kirman...
Matt achieved his dream of emulating his hero Jose Mourinho when he built the double title winning Los Magicos from scratch. In goal he is an intimidating figure pulling off superb reflex saves from close range and displaying superb handling skills. He is rightly proud of his ability to earn assists from his throws. His one weakness is that he also fancies himself as a prolific goalscorer.
Iain ‘The Rock' Biglin...
Iain finishes a game as he starts it – with his hands on his hips. Definitely the least gifted player in the team, but nonetheless displays huge determination and bravery in blocking goal bound shots. Strong in the tackle and able to spot danger seconds before it arrives. He is lucky to score more than 3 goals a season although he seems to feel it should be closer to 30.
Dale ‘The Powerhouse’ Spalding...
Often found playing in a deep lying role and breaking forward, Dale has huge stamina and strength reserves which enable him to cover every splinter of wood on the court. He has a penchant for shooting from distance, as well as picking the ball up as last man and embarking on mazy runs, barging players out of the way with his powerful running style. Dale is the only player in history to make sliding tackles whilst keeping one leg in its original position.
Kyle ‘The Maradona Roll’ Sinclair...
Another player who likes to join the attack late with unlimited stamina, Kyle is able to make the opposing defence dizzy with his favoured trick, the Maradona roll. Able to read the game well and make crucial interceptions, which are usually followed by a shot hoping to catch the keeper off guard. You can guarantee that he will be up there with the top goalscorers come the end of the season.
Derek ‘The Disco' Woods...
Learnt everything he knows about dribbling watching the Grimsby legend Alan Pouton. Pointless step-overs and drag backs can be expected, giving his feet more grace than John Travoltas' in Saturday Night Fever. Dez also has the ability to play in any position on the pitch giving him great versatility and allowing for flexibility. A consistent goalscorer, owing to a ferocious right foot, who makes intelligent runs to pull the opposition out of shape. His link up play with Iain Biglin is the stuff of legend.
Paul ‘The Wizard of Ozzi’ Horsewood...
Paul plays as the main striker and his constant movement makes him difficult for defenders to pick up. He has the fastest feet in Lincolnshire and is able to make even the best defender look like Titus Bramble. Possibly the laziest player in the team with a severe allergy to defending most of the time – but he makes up for it with the sheer amount of goals and assists he earns.
Brian ‘The Man, The Myth’ Horsewood...
Combine the craft of Cruyff, the guile of Maradona, the shot of Pele and the timing of Moore. What are you left with? This man! The football gods conspired to create the guy with all of these attributes and more. Unfortunately due to the form of the first team Brian is limited to the secret weapon role. You can guarantee however that every half chance, goal, trick or tackle will be greeted will a chorus of "oooh", "aaah", "ho-ho" and a 45 degree lean over the barrier... Los Magicos legend.